Bellringers Behaving BadlyThere’s always lots of good advice available about How to be a Better Ringer. This is all very welcome, I’m sure, but being good all the time does get just a teensy bit tedious. So to redress the balance, here are a few tips on How to be a Proper Little Nuisance to your team.
AT PRACTICES
Don’t turn up on time.
Let everyone get nicely settled into a piece, then disrupt the proceedings by:
-
Counting wrong. Loudly. (e.g. AND 3 AND 4 instead of 1 and 2 and ….)
-
Singing the words. Out of time. If it hasn’t got any words, sing the words of another song.
-
Tapping your foot. Out of time, of course.
-
When everyone is very busy and things are working to a nice climax, shouting “DAMP”.
-
When everyone is playing a piece as quickly as they can, shouting “ACCEL - NOW”
-
In the middle of a piece, shouting “Don’t forget the unmarked repeat at Bar 56”
If someone gets lost and asks for a bar number, you have two options. Either shout out the wrong number, or (if you want the more sophisticated approach) whisper the wrong number just loudly enough for the person next to you to hear. This will start a ripple of argument that will move around the whole table.
When your team is concentrating hard on a tricky new piece, suddenly ask your neighbour “Where are you going for your holidays this year?” The whole team will come to a grinding halt in sheer amazement. If you think this is far fetched - it REALLY DID HAPPEN at one practice!
AT PERFORMANCES
Don’t turn up on time.
When all the bells have been put out, sneak a couple back into the boxes. If you choose wisely, this won’t be discovered until the proceedings are well under way.
If someone whispers “Where are we?”, whisper back “In Stockport”, or some such useful comment - serves ‘em right for not being specific.
Halfway through a piece, pick up a bell which is being used by the person next to you - and don’t give it back.
If you’re sharing music and you haven’t got much to do for a few bars, idly turn the page to have a look at what’s coming next.
If you have the first few bells in a piece, start it at half speed and watch everyone else’s faces as they try to decide whether to follow you, speed things up or just give in and start again.
You could just play the wrong piece - but that’s so easy that it’s not really playing the game.
Happy wrecking!
A K R
|
Please wait...
