Kinder Ringers - Out of the Blue!

One or two people seem to have noticed that Kinder have recently changed their uniform, from “cool blue” to - well, its official name is “Geometric Russet”, but we prefer to think of it as “Vivid & Vibrant” - just like us! The change was the end of a long and painful process ……

The old uniforms had one great drawback - being pure polyester, and having a high collar, if the temperature was over 65 they had all the appeal of playing dressed in a wet dustbin liner. So about three years ago, we decided that we must look out for something new.

We were happy to settle for anything - but it had to be suitable for all shapes and sizes, and most ages. We didn’t want any frilly bits on the front, to get in our way. Beads and sequins were out, as we damp our bells in weird and wonderful places (well, mine are weird - others are no doubt wonderful). We wanted to be comfortable, and it had to be “something different”. And of course, it must be easily available in a full range of sizes, and not expensive. Oh, and it needed to go with the table covers. And wash easily and need practically no ironing. And, as we sometimes travelled to rallies etc, it must pack without creasing. Apart from that, anything would do.

So the Great Uniform Hunt began… And went on, and on, and on. Barbara threatened ever more loudly to put her old uniform on a bonfire. One or two members left, and were replaced by people who didn’t resemble them at all in shape or size, but the uniforms were passed on regardless. Things got really desperate when two additional members joined the team, and we only had one spare blouse. This was the last straw, and we knew that we could delay no longer.

One year later, a blouse was brought along to a practice. What did we think? We considered carefully…No, we didn’t, being Kinder Ringers, we considered noisily. Easily available? Yes. All sizes? Yes. Cost? Reasonable. Would it go with the table covers? Yes. Then the big question. What would 10 of us standing in a line look like? There was only one way to find out.

We couldn’t all take part in the Invasion of Asda the following Saturday, but 5 of us could manage it., so if we found a mirror and angled ourselves correctly, we could look like 10. We made straight for the blouses, took 10 off the rail and proceeded to the changing rooms. Small cubicles … long queue … so most of us tried them on without bothering with the changing rooms. Five women, arguing and giggling over 10 blouses, soon attracted plenty of attention, and it was with some difficulty that we persuaded a flustered assistant that she needn’t summon Security. To give an authentic touch, we’d brought along one of our covers, and the five of us were standing in a row, holding up the cover and angling ourselves to look like 10 in the mirror, when along came the supervisor. We explained what we were doing, and got her reaction - “So basically, you’ve spent three years looking for an outfit to match a tablecloth. I don’t believe I’m hearing this ….”

We canvassed opinions among the crowd which had now formed around us, and comments were very favourable, so we went ahead and bought the blouses. Having agreed to team them with black skirts or trousers (yes, OK, Chris, black bottoms), we decided later that a finishing touch was needed, so after much further discussion and sampling, we chose (please excuse the technical jargon) a plain black doodah with a pointy bit. So our new outfit is complete, and will probably be seen for many, many years to come. Wonder how easy it’ll be to find matching zimmer frames….?